deader than a water bottle by Kelly Moody

so this weekend, instead of diving intensely into research i needed to do, and instead of going to parties that i don't even want to go to, i stayed in and read a lot of books i didn't even need to read.
well before all the reading, a trip into the woods in the middle of the night, laying in ivy for awhile with the Frog and some other friends sparked some kind of manic zen epiphanic mode for a few days, and i am falling from that now. that walk was a bit surreal, with the moonlight on the leaves and the water, laying in the ivy observing the trees as reaching for the sky, all existing for a moment in time, space really being time mediated by different wavelengths. i was there on a wave for a moment and the trees existed then too, all only temporarily, all something and nothing at once, and it was phenomenal. Looking at the reflections in the lake, infinity reflecting infinity, i was at awe. (no godflesh involved, just pure being-- with maybe some red roobis)
The next day I got up and wrote a bunch of these reflections down, all if it really reminding me of my mystical philosophy class from last year. At the time, the information i was learning about was separate from me, ideas that i half-heartedly grasped, and suddenly, it all made sense. I was this knowledge. You suddenly know when knowledge becomes being. I pulled out all of my Sufi literature and read all of the things i didn't understand completely before but completely understood in the moment. I read Dharma Bums all day from front to back (gained a new perspective on Gary Snyder). Dove intently into this amazing book called "Time, Space and Knowledge" by Tarthang Tulku and its been blowing my mind since. Started writing poetry which i never do. Suddenly everything around me connected. I have a picture of a cup stuck in a tree that i captured once and i have it pinned on my wall because it is kind of symbolic for a lot of reasons. Even this class, the tower and the mountain, man and nature, 2 forces, a Styrofoam unnaturally colored cup stuck in a beautiful tree. Anyway, i was looking at it, and thinking about time, how the cup will eventually not exist, probably at a slower rate than the tree even, but everything will take another form eventually, and the beauty of that cup in that tree at that moment in time, is symbolic of how we exist at every moment in infinitely microcosmic and macrocosmic ways. The cup, is chaos in disguise. We take a bunch of particles, shape them in a specific way to hold water so we can take a sip for a moment, and then that cup has no use anymore. We divulge almost too much in these temporary moments, creating indestructible towers that live longer than we do. The cup--chaos disguised was imposing/sharing space and time with a tree, who was existing in its own chaotic order and their wavelengths cross for just a moment just like me laying in the ivy in the middle of the night on the Noland trail contemplating the time of me and the trees above me.
Today, my friend Mike, the Frog and Eve were discussing an indestructible water bottle. Apparently, these kinds of water bottles can resist just about any kind of shattering, even a bullet can't penetrate them. It made me think: this bottle is more alive than we human are. It will last much longer than we will. Everything around us that we create, the Styrofoam cup, the indestructible water bottle is our way of immortalizing ourselves by creating objects of the 'tower' world that will age at a different rate and wavelength than we will. What use will that water bottle have when we're dead? What about the water in the bottle? It is only temporarily alive, just like we are, and the point of it all is that moment you take a sip and unionize with that water. Pouring the water out on the ground is the same thing as any one of us dying. We're already dead, we are deader than that water bottle is, and that is interesting to think about in that way. We are deader than everything around us that we create.